People are always asking me about when I’m going to write another poker blog and seem to miss the live blog versions in particular. I have no intentions of starting those up again, but I’m basically always chatting with a group of poker friends as I play my sessions and I thought it might be interesting to transcribe those conversations as they would basically function as a live blog for anyone that wants to read them.
Note: I cut out most of the nonsense and edited out anything that would probably be offensive to people we are talking about or in general really. It’s also worth noting that I have a penchant for massive exaggeration for the sake of being entertaining and/or funny (even in private conversation) so don’t take everything you read here at face value.
TDK: I guess I’m going to play 3/5 like a good little TAG.
Dano: Live blog. One time.
TDK: That’s what I need to help me when I’m out of my comfort zone – a nonstop distraction!
Dano: Just stop doom calling it off and you’ll be fine.
Zinky: Start a vlog already. We want to see the max pain on your face when you lose every time.
TDK: Thwomp puts me to the test for whole stack with marginal top pair first pot I play. QTcc on Q72d5d6.
Zinky: More details.
TDK: Open $20, he flats button; bet $15 he calls; bet $35 he makes it $100 I call; check-call $175 river.
Zinky: I’d fold, but I don’t know Thwomp.
TDK: Definitely capable of blasting off and raising diamonds on the turn. He’s repping sets only really. Maybe 76dd.
Zinky: Maybe check-call turn?
TDK: Honestly not too surprised by his line… when I bet small on flop I was prepared for spaz.
Zinky: lol what did he have?
TDK: He had my foot in his ass.
Zinky: You punted him?
TDK: He didn’t show. I saw an ace. It was red.
Zinky: Nice call.
TDK: But seriously. If I lost that hand I’d be so heated.
Zinky: I think with marginal queens it might be better to check turn.
TDK: Maybe not heated, but demoralized.
Zinky: Did you min buy?
Zinky: Nice. Show Joker how it’s done.
TDK: Open $20 button K8cc both blinds call; KT4r check around; 6 turn ditone now checks to me $30 SB $85 call; river K check to me… ?
TDK: This is basically a live blog lol.
Zinky: 1/3 bet? Don’t see a king checking river here. He probably had like 64ss lol.
TDK: I bet $50 into $230 planning to snap call a raise.
Zinky: What happened?
TDK: He called with AK lolololol
Zinky: Yikes. Weird hand. He missed so much value. Holy smokes.
TDK: Did he though?
TDK: If he 3-bet like a normal person he just wins pre, but yeah.
Zinky: He could have bet 175 you call river
TDK: Not anymore.
Zinky: I mean.. if he 3-bets now it’s QQ+ lol. You must have had a stunned look on your face.
TDK: or bluffs? I mean if you’re not 3-betting a button open from an active player with AK wtf are you even doing?
Zinky: He’s a nit.
TDK: I was shocked. Never in my life did I think I was losing when he check-calls 20% pot. Now I’m even again. Goddammit. And now Thwomp is on my direct left.
TDK: Now I’m down $300. Thwomp sits on my left and immediately flops set on me.
TDK: But I took the check-call marginal top pair on turn line this time.
Zinky: That’s good. Save money.
TDK: Limp along Jx9d button. QTX all diamond flop. Thwomp bets $20, MP calls, I call. Kx on turn. $50 call call. Kx river and they both check to me???
Joker: Rip it. What could go wrong?
TDK: Be serious.
Joker: I mean… I was? Bet 175? Fold to 475?
Zinky: Half pot or 66%. Fold to raise.
Joker: So exactly what I said?
Zinky: No one has a flush
Joker: Seems very unlikely. Also we block it. A really good blocker for a limped pot too.
TDK: I bet 33% and both players check-call with flopped flushes lol.
Joker: lol amazing. You saved more money than Zinky and I did. Was your 9 live? That’s what matters.
Joker: That’s kind of why I hate limping along. I almost never do it. Raise or fold.
TDK: Here’s another cool hand.
TDK: MP opens $20, two calls, I call SB with 88. 822ss checks to button, he bets $25, I call, everyone else folds. Turn Ts, we both check. River 8, we both check. He shows KK. How do I run so bad?
Joker: Nice check-call. You definitely wouldn’t have won ALL the money on the flop.
TDK: Why would I raise? I want all the other ding dongs in and he just flatted pre.
Zinky: How do you not bet river?
TDK: I figure he has a 2 or nothing. Maybe a small pocket pair. I don’t think he’s checking a 2 on river. He might call a small bet with a small pair.
Joker: He’s checking a 2 on the turn?
Joker: Why would he want a 4th spade?
Joker and TDK simultaneously: I mean…
TDK: The moral of the story is
Joker: You suck?
TDK: I run super bad
TDK: I suck at hand reading
TDK: And I’m terrible overall
Joker: lol getting warmer
Zinky: Mike’s mental game today is A+
TDK: I think I’m doing okay mentally. Just being honest. Like… I kinda suck. That’s why I stay in 1/3. Where everyone sucks way harder.
Joker: haha, it’s true
TDK: Bright side: I’m getting paid $499.
Joker: ayyy happy July
TDK: and I lose $1k flip vs ***** (sorry, no nickname yet, but he needs one) before I even get paid. Hoping to tell some good beat stories tonight.
TDK: Imagine running decent at 3/5
Joker: Welcome to 3/5!
TDK: Make it 50 from BB with AK after like 30 limpers and he’s only caller. 542dd. Check, he bets $100, I jam $500. He tank-calls with 99 and holds.
TDK: like the line at least?
Joker: well, in general yes, but you have to remember you have ZERO fold equity vs ***** and I get we don’t hate a call here so it’s a funny spot.
TDK: so you bet flop? Or just check-call? or check-fold lol?
Joker: Check-call. He might check back turn. I just check-call and jam if we get there because I know he won’t fold lol. Jam a king. I dunno lol.
TDK: my strat tonight
TDK: lose the max with the worst hand
TDK: win the min with the best hand
TDK: crushing it so far
TDK: I’m not sure if I’ve made a right decision since my first hand vs Thwomp.
TDK: Dude in s1 just said, “Man, I don’t know if I’m running bad or if I just suck at poker.”
TDK: I’m like, “wow, I’ve literally been sitting here for two hours wondering the same thing about myself.”
Joker: “well, for you it’s obvious.”
TDK: I burst out laughing when he said it. Because it’s 100% true. I really don’t know. I feel like I suck. But never having the best hand when chips go in the pot isn’t helping my confidence.
Joker: I hear that.
TDK: Every time I play this
TDK: dating back for years lol
Joker: Have you tried getting it in good?
TDK: Just resisted the urge to sqz ATo
TDK: DON’T FUCKING DO IT
Joker: Good choice lol. That was my final punt last night. Dude we were talking about straddles, I am SB with A5ss and make it 35, 3 calls and he makes it 235. I never do this but I make it 535. He jams with AK obv. ez hold. RIP Joker that’s how you finish -$2700. Seemed like a perfect spot. Maniac raising his own straddle. How could I be that far behind?
TDK. Lolz. I don’t know what a good spot looks like. Because I’m never right. ***** trying to tell everyone how much money i’ve taken off him. I’m like, “I’ve literally never won a single pot from you.”
Joker: Didn’t he just take 1k from you?
TDK: $500. 1k pot.
TDK: I’m serious though. I can only think of one time I’ve ever had the best hand at showdown vs him.
TDK: This is so brutal. I’m making the wrong play every single hand.
Joker: Bro. That’s variance still. Balance means being wrong sometimes.
TDK: TAG bets multiway as PRF on Q32r. I have 54 and check-call. It checks through on turn and river. He has 88.
Joker: I mean… maybe he doesn’t give up. You have to barrel turn and maybe he just heroes you off. Is that the right play?
TDK: He’s the biggest nit in the game. I don’t think he has it in him.
Joker: Getting to the river for one small flop bet isn’t the worst result. I suppose once the turn checks it’s probably pretty rare we shouldn’t be betting 5 high, but it depends on the runout I guess?
TDK: I turned a 5.
Joker: lol boooo.. i mean, free showdown isn’t bad there anyways so shrug
TDK: Sure. It’s prob cool to bomb river though. Like 1.5x.
Joker: Get there next time with an A so you can bet and have him fold
Joker: Bombing river is cool, I agree.
TDK: By God, we doubled through *****
TDK: For like $350 lololol
TDK: I had him dead on the flop and he turned ten outs. How does he miss?
Joker: That’s not what dead means?
TDK: AJ no heart vs K3hh on J64 all hearts
TDK: Stop your nonsense
Joker: You’re right. Turning a jack is impossible. Turning an A also impossible. Also turning a 4 or a 6. Totally impossible.
TDK: I see what’s happening here.
Joker: I’m on *****’s team?
TDK: We just flopped a set and doubled.
TDK: PRAISE THE FUCKIN POKER GODS
TDK: Dude flatted pre with AA and let me overcall with 44
Dano: He tried to tarp you bra
TDK: Now I’m deep and really don’t know what I’m doing
TDK: You thought I was playing bad before?
Dano: Kind of wish I was there right now. Good times seeing you out of your element. With your nlhe cash game ptsd prone to flair up at any moment.
TDK: It’s so real.
TDK (in reference to Joker saying “have you tried getting it in good?”: This worked surprisingly well.
TDK: We somehow won $504.
Joker: Congrats dude. You broke the curse. Here comes the 20k upswing.
Joker: Too bad you didn’t have more than 350 when ***** wanted to double you, but hey.
TDK: I’m always going to sit 500. Until I feel really good about what I’m doing. I had 1500 behind. Shrug.
Joker: Seems fine until you can handle the swings of 200bb buyins
TDK: lol 63 hours of 3/5 NL since 2014
TDK: We have bumped our liftime win rate up to -6 big blinds per hour
TDK: My lifetime NL live cash game win rate is 12 big blinds per hour over 300+ hours.
TDK: Maybe I don’t suck.